Last updated: May 3rd, 2018 at 11:15 am
One of the biggest issues with infertility and not getting pregnant is the feeling that you no longer have control over your body and your future. Anything else you could work for, study for, you could even beg, borrow or steal to get it. Not so when trying for a baby. This can lead to feelings of despair, anger, sadness and fear.
The good news is that getting pregnant is not about having to be positive all the time, it’s about being open and receptive. I know this from years of experience working in my Fertility Acupuncture Clinic. Plenty of the women who get pregnant with me are not optimistic, nor do they feel positive. Honestly, they don’t even have hope anymore. They just don’t want to be too disappointed when their period comes (yet again). But I constantly see this hopeless fertile attitude lead to them announcing: “I’m pregnant, I can’t believe it!”. That statement is such a common phrase our clients use to tell us their good news. It usually takes a while for it to really sink in and for them to really believe it. And I see this scenario happen year after year after year, so don’t worry about being positive or even hopeful if you don’t really feel that way. As long as you continually do something to improve your fertility, you can still get pregnant.
The best fertile attitude is to be open and receptive to the good and the bad of trying to conceive. How is getting pregnant about being open and receptive? When you start to think about the physical act of getting pregnant, it involves the fallopian tube receiving the egg, your body having received sperm into it, the egg receiving the sperm, your lining receiving the embryo, your body receiving and continuing a pregnancy and so on to receiving a child into your arms, all these physical aspects lead into the spiritual aspect of receiving a baby into your heart and life.
In Chinese Medicine emotions such as anger or sadness are not bad for you as long as they are appropriate to the situation. If someone cuts you off in traffic and nearly causes an accident it’s ok to feel angry at that time, but if you are still angry the next day, that is out of balance. If someone close to you dies, it is ok to feel sad for a longer period of time. It would be inappropriate if you got over it the next day. A fertile attitude is about being open and receptive to all the emotions trying to get pregnant brings with it. It is appropriate to feel down and frustrated when you get your period. Trying to gloss over things causes that stress to stay inside and wreak havoc. It is healthier and better to feel your emotion and let it move through you (e-motion). You will pick yourself up again and move forward. It’s hard, even devastating hearing the news that a close friend or family member is pregnant. It is normal to compare and say “Why not me?” You are not a bad person for thinking that because you would not wish fertility problems on anyone else, you just want a baby too.
Trying for a baby can make you feel hopeless at times and that’s ok. The only danger is to not let hopelessness turn into helplessness. Always keep trying, there are many pathways to pregnancy, Fertility Acupuncture or IVF are just two, you just need to find what works for you. Be very very kind to yourself in the process. It’s ok to stumble, cry and get angry, just make sure to pick yourself up afterwards, find what helps and then move in that direction.