Negative Emotions and Infertility

Last updated: May 30th, 2019 at 12:21 pm

Negative emotions and infertility when you’re trying really, really hard to stay positive

Chinese Medicine says that there are no negative emotions as long as they are appropriate to the situation. So if someone cuts you off in traffic and you shout “idiot!”.  That anger is fine. Just don’t hang onto it for miles and miles andnegative emotions and infertility  the next day because that is not appropriate to the situation. Your mother dies and you are depressed and cry for days, that’s appropriate.  The word emotion itself hints at the purpose.  E-motion: let the feelings move through you.  Sometimes that movement takes a moment and sometime it takes much, much longer especially when it comes to negative emotions and infertility.

Trying to conceive can lead to all sorts of  negative emotions.  Fear, anger, frustration, disappointment, depression, hopelessness, jealousy, loneliness, you name it.  How long is it appropriate to feel these feelings?  That varies from person to person and situation to situation.  Are you 33 years old or 43 years old?  Is this your first month trying to conceive or your 7th year of TTC?  Is this your first round of IVF or your 9th?  Is your younger sister or best friend having her 3rd baby?  Is the woman you share an office with pregnant, again?  When it comes to the “failed” attempts and disappoints in TTC only you can know what to feel and for how long.  The key is to take the time to feel an emotion to it’s fullest extent, let it all out until you’ve maxed out on it.  Then you will have a reprieve.  Maybe the emotion will come back again at a later date (because TTC can be a roller coaster), but trying to stay positive and putting a cork on these feelings creates stress.  Remember this is something really meaningful, this is not just a new handbag you’e trying to get.  It’s really, really important to you so it’s ok to be disappointed and frustrated.  With negative emotions and infertility it may feel like a pendulum that swings between pessimism and optimism.  However,  in the middle, there is also the place of realism.  Realism can be a nice place to occupy, it gives a little of both the optimism and the pessimism, but without the highs and lows.

Negative emotions and infertility can lead to swearing: “Sh!t, my period came again.”

Psychologists at England’s Keele University say cursing is a harmless, creative emotional release that can make you feel stronger.  Hell yes, studies show that swearing may actually be beneficial to you!  Read this for more info.  Check out this article which highlights the benefits. Swearing, negative emotions and infertility go hand in hand. Some of the benefits of swearing are that:

  1. It can make you feel in control
  2. It can be cathartic
  3. It lets you express yourself
  4. It eases pain
  5. It helps you bond with others
  6. It is a method of non-violent retribution (which is great especially when you don’t know where to place your anger, which is often the case when struggling with fertility)

So when your period starts or that negativestress & fertility pregnancy test result comes up, or if you get a diagnosis of low ovarian reserve or endometriosis and you feel those negative emotions bubbling up, go ahead, drop the F-BOMB!

Always consult your doctor for medical advice.

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Free online talks by experts on Fertility

Last updated: May 3rd, 2014 at 11:54 am

A Week of free online talks from some of the World’s Leading Fertility Experts


Sunday 27th April 2014 – Sunday 4th May 2014


Your computer or phone.



  • Listen in to 15 fertility expert presentations, either over the phone or online.
  • Have the opportunity during the live presentations to have your questions answered by the speakers as you listen.
  • Learn in-depth and ground-breaking fertility solutions from experts from all over the world.
  • No travel time or costs, and no hotel bills to attend this international event.
  • Listen to the presentations in the privacy and comfort of your own home.
  • Listen in live FREE of charge.

Not sure if you’ll be able to attend all the presentations as they happen? Register your place and they’ll offer you a solution.

To register for your free place at the Fertility Focus Telesummit 2014 for a week of talks from 15 of the world leading fertility experts as they share their knowledge and insights to help you overcome fertility issues and take positive action to have your baby go to

Here are a just a few of the speakers and the topic of the talks they will give:

Speaker Who are they? Topic of Talk
Dr Marilyn Glenville The UK’s leading nutritionist specialising in fertility and women’s health, and award winning international best-selling author whose books including ‘Getting Pregnant Faster’. Using nutrition to boost fertility either for natural conception or IVF and to reduce miscarriage
Dr Randine Lewis Author of The Infertility Cure and a leading authority on Alternative Medicine and pioneer on taking an empowering and more natural approach to treating infertility. Another View of Your Fertility
Emma Cannon Acupuncturist and author of best selling books ‘Total Fertility’, ‘You and Your Bump’ and ‘The Baby-Making Bible’. Optimising & Preserving Fertility Through Chinese Medicine, Lifestyle Adjustments & Self-Care
Natalie Kringoudis A leading light in natural fertility and women’s health in Australia, Natalie is a Doctor of Chinese Medicine and Acupuncturist, Natural Fertility Educator and Author. Debunking Ovulation – Re-educating Woman on What Fertility Truly Means
Nicole Jardim Hormonal Health Coach and Creator of The Highly Successful ‘Fix Your Period’ Series of Programs Hormonal Health Coach and Creator of The Highly Successful ‘Fix Your Period’ Series of Programs
Molly Nichols Leading Fertility Visualization Expert and Mind-Body Fertility Coach as well as the Founder of The Mind Belly Connection where she helps women from  round the world struggling with infertility. How to Mentally and Emotionally Reclaim Your Life and Your Fertility
Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer Co-founder of Blossom and Be and creator of The Fertile Body Method network of therapists who use a unique combination of hypnotherapy and other mind-body techniques to treat fertility problems. Optimum Mind for IVF Success




Failure to conceive is not the end

Last updated: May 30th, 2019 at 12:46 pm

Dealing with the mental side of failure to conceive

It’s normal to feel disappointment, devastation and even hopelessness when you get a negative pregnancy test or when your period arrives. What can be a hindrance for the next cycle going forward is feeling like a failure.

Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” -Nido Qubein

 Getting your mind into a positive space

Your mind has the capacity to be a positive tool in analysing what can be done to solve any problem. Unfortunately for many of us our mind can also be clouded with negativity which impedes our ability to think. Whether you’re trying to conceive naturally or getting assistance with IVF, regarding your period as a “failure to conceive” can prevent you from doing it better the next time. There is a big difference between thinking “I’m a failure” and thinking “That didn’t work”.
Find a method that works for you that will allow you to re-frame your “failure to conceive”, and to treat your period arriving like a scientist would regard an experiment: There is no failure, only feedback.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

And thus, you’re closer to what will work. With a clear mind, examine and evaluate what you’re doing or not doing and figure out what is a help and what is a hindrance to getting pregnant. Then repeat this evaluation process over and over again, keep refining it after every period that arrives:

  1. Make sure you give things like nutritional and dietary changes more than one menstrual or IVF cycle to determine if it helps or hinders.
  2. Evaluate what causes you stress and if any emotional issues are at play.
  3. Work on your relationship with your partner.

There are a myriad of areas in your life that you can influence.

If you’re with a fertility clinic they will evaluate how you responded to the assisted protocol and determine a course of action going forward. They use the feedback model. I use this philosophy in my Fertility Acupuncture Clinic as well, I use all aspects of the previous cycle to determine how to fine tune treatment and I’m always interested in the whole person, mind, body and spirit to determine where to focus.

Don’t do anything!

“To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.”-Hippocrates
And sometimes stopping trying so hard to conceive can be the pathway to pregnancy. Taking a break from trying to conceive can have its benefits. Feeling a lack of control is the difficult thing about trying to conceive, so control what you can, keep refining it and then give it time.
And finally:
“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald



Always consult your doctor for medical advice.